Go to the bloody butcher!

“What an honour it is to be here today, at this wonderful celebration of the Vegan Society. My wife said don't make that joke, it is too obvious so pretend you didn't hear that joke because you really don't want to be on the wrong side of the angry vegan, I will get serious now I promise you.

“Once upon a time on a television programme called This Morning I was cooking very badly on it and like all these magazine shows there are serious items that jump straight into cooking. They were talking about vegans and I said that bringing up a child as a vegan was child abuse. I tell you what the death threats are still coming nine years later.

“What a genuine joy it is to stand in front of the members of the Q Guild of Butchers. Some of the very finest butchers in the land which of course, means some of the very best butchers in the world.

“I feel immediately comfortable here, happy and very much among my own. There are lots of corporate things that you can do, I often say no to them, but one hundred per cent when they said would you like to come and address the Q Guild of Butchers, I jumped.

“I am really happy sitting at the feet of giants, learning, grabbing information find out all the things that I find most fascinating and most inspiring.

“Some of my earliest food memories growing up in Wiltshire was the butcher who was very much the centre of Chippenham. He had sawdust floors, you would go in and get some bones for the dogs, at Christmas there were kind of displays of turkeys that get painted. It was the scene of the butcher sitting at the heart of the community and it has never really left me.

“A town or city without a proper butcher is town without a heart. But all of you here today are masters of meat, heroes of the haunch, legends of the lamb chop and you don't do this for the prospect of a quick and easy buck.

“I know exactly how hard you all work, the long gruelling, often freezing cold hours. The sawing, the cutting, the slicing, the lugging around of great carcasses, the constant attention to perfect hygiene, the sheer physical hard graft, the depth of knowledge and years of pure experience necessary which becomes the very essence of carnivorous good taste.

“Now this might not be or seem like a glamorous job but we love you for it. What would we do without you? Great butchers are no mere make or trade, it is a part, a passion, a labour of love. It is a community hub and a place of course where lots of good gossip can be shared and spread as well.

“In an age where speed, convenience and cheap bargains seem to be all, you stand proud and alone as artisans. Purveyors of quality, of slow food, of good place, a place where every single cut from every single beast is truly traceable. The future is all about traceabiliby, something proper butchers have known and been proud of for centuries. No Shergar burgers here!

“You pride yourself on long standing relations with good farmers and shoots. The public facing world and front line of Great British beasts. Proper butchers, far from having anything to hide. Are only too delighted to share every detail from farm, breed, feed, finish and hanging time. These things matter, of course they do and will never cease to thrill while we can spend happy hours in an aging room, then reading books on Sausage making, pies, smoking and curing. Everything that is my obsession but yet when I look around at the legends of the butchers around here I feel very small indeed. It really is something that inspires every single day.

“But, it is not all 35 day aged Dexter rumps and lusciously fatty Old Spot and all these wonderful products that have won today. There is the other side, the shadier, more secretive mass market side, where provenance is badly known as problems and rapid turnaround is the main stance.

“This still makes up the majority of the meat you buy in the west. Pigs and chickens bear the awful brunt of the inequities of intensive farming. That is not to say cattle are exempt, you only need to look at these vast feed lots in America to see that.

“We do eat too much meat, too much cheap imported meat because we know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Why I can hear you say 'why do you spend nine or ten quid on a chicken, when we can get two quick frozen chickens in Aldi or any other supermarket we choose?'

“Of course they say to me 'it is all very well for you, you sitting there, privileged Tom, wagging his finger in his ivory tower telling us to eat the most expensive meat, when we are trying to live off the dole, the minimum wage, working our arses offal day. We cannot afford all this fancy free range organic creatures.' Of course I see their point but all I can say is go to the bloody butcher!

“Because there among all of you, you will find out about life beyond chicken breasts, mince and steak. There are those lovely, often unloved cuts- the shins, the breast, the oxtails, the scrag end, the cheeks. You can buy them for the fraction of the price of the prime cuts which of course also have their place and get them from the kind of bred beasts that Q butchers are proud to sell.

“Another reason that quality butchers are so important is not just a place where you buy meat but a place where you learn how to cook meat. You do not get that at Tesco.

“Then there is the long term cost of cheap imported meat. Sure the price might be low but what about the long term cost? The animal welfare, the environmental impact, and the sheer lack of flavour. The large scale intensively farmed pigs from Eastern Europe, the broilers from Brazil and Thailand, their short miserable disease blighted lives.

“Eat less meat but eat better is the sort of philosophy that we can all support. Life without the pleasures of meat, without roast chicken with crisp skin, slow cooked Dexter ribs, duck red curry, devilled kidneys, I could go on and on. I have written books on the subject, you all know exactly what I am talking about. I'm talking about game, woodcock, bacon, sausages, pies and everything.

“We bang on and on about countries with a good strong food culture. Places like France or Italy where good food is quite rightly meshed with everyday life regardless of how much cash you have. Places where there is an understanding why that bouillabaisse is that much more expensive. Good to eat will always cost more.

“Good flavour always pretty much needs sound farm practice. The extra time and effort involved, the higher quality of food, the fact that they are essentially sensitive creatures. All this chat of a food revolution then is a long way off the mark.

“Yes we are at the start of the road but it is long and winding and rocky. Until all of Britain knows why good meat costs more and how to use the different cuts, the revolution will still remain an empty deal for us to concede.

“Here in the UK though you still have some of the highest standards of animal welfare in the world. Whatever you think about the European Union and Brexit, our decision to leave the EU has not just created a huge amount of insecurity and uncertainty in the farming world, there are fears about quality too.

“While I applaud free trade with America, whoever the President might be or what you think of him or her, there is a big worry because if we start importing cheap American meat that we have for long rejected, does that mean a chlorine washed chicken, pork sprayed with lactic acid will become the norm?

“That may be standard practice in many abattoirs over there but certainly not at the moment in the EU. What about their use of synthetic hormones used to promote quick growth and speedy profit? The flood of antibiotics that mean bacterial infection are becoming steadily more resistant to drugs. It scares the hell out of me.

“This is why the butchers of the Q Guild stand at the forefront of the battle for high standards of farming practice. You are our best defence and where you lead others invariably follow.

“Yet there are still way too many labels – outdoor bred, rare breed, free range, red tractor, freedom food, organic and all the rest. It is hardly surprising that the average punter who doesn't look into it like we do gets confused.

“I happen to believe that there is some very good organic but I believe that there is very poor organic too. We should judge on taste first, label second. When I go into Lidgates or HG Walters who are my local butchers, I put my hands, my taste and myself in the hands of the expert of a higher meaty power. I put my faith in my butcher.

“If the pork, chicken, beef or lamb makes it into the shop, I know that it will all be good quality regardless of any label. In fact many non organic farmers farm to higher standards than those they allow for the Soil Association. They refuse to go through hoops or pay extra. I say let's all have faith in you the butcher.

“It is the same with rare breed. Breed alone means nothing, you all know that but do punters know that? You have to add in the feed, the hanging, the butchering. The production of great meat is a complex job and as you all know all the hard work of the farmer can be ruined in one clumsy swipe of the knife.

“You are the last and most important link in the long process and essential. What you do is uphold the standard of Great British farming. With your art and experience you bring out the best from carcases, you raise sausages to bring a tear to the eye, pork pies to sell.

“Good butchers care as much about animal welfare as any vegetarian if not more. The relationship between great farmer and great butcher and grateful customer loves is at the heart of all we are eating. Britain needs you anyone with even the merest interest in eating should revere you too.

“It goes way beyond mere greed, you play a fundamental role in the future health wealth and happiness of our nation. That's why you have apprenticeships are so important, comprehensive training taking on the next generation, securing this great tradition of Q Butchers. I see sons and daughters carrying on, that fills me with hope, pride and delight.

“So my gratitude and those of chefs, restauranteurs and home cooks across spreads the country knows no bounds.
Please please keep up the good fight. I know that it is not always easy but you are the public face of good husbandry, well honed skill and immaculate hygiene.

“The tip that you are times warriors against the bland and inhumane, the faceless and the tasteless, the industrialised and wretched and wrong. I raise my glass to you all.”